march: matcha
meditative practices in slowing down
I’ve never been particularly good at taking things day by day. Or at least, I’ve never been naturally gifted in that way like some people are.
Whenever I feel like I have to achieve something — which is most of the time — my type A tendencies overpower my entire body until that thing gets done. I’m sure many people can relate, especially those who have grown up with access to social media. It can often feel as though you’re never doing enough work, never being social enough, and never generally being as productive as you could be. In talking to my friends, I’ve realized it’s hard for most to ignore those feelings of inadequacy that can come with scrolling.
Once I graduated college, moved out to Los Angeles, and started considering what I wanted my life to look like as an adult, I realized that I felt discontent with the amount of pressure that I was putting on myself to perform, especially when there was no vital task at hand. I started tracking more of my daily activities outside of the bounds of my work — reading novels, working out, walking/cycling, watching TV or movies, and listening to podcasts, for example — to make sure that I was spending at least a little time each day dedicating time to myself and enjoying life.
Since I’m only working part-time and a part-time student this semester, I do have a little bit more time to explore these passions. Once a week or so, my friend Karina and I have been attending early morning heated yoga classes and then heading over to the coveted Community Goods to grab Einspanner matcha lattes, breakfast sandwiches, and pistachio toast. That toast, by the way, would absolutely be featured in my last meals.
In repeating this practice, I’ve noticed how much I appreciate the 30 minutes in which we take to wrangle and chat about graduate school over those lattes. I don’t drink coffee much anymore, having dramatically slowed my consumption sometime in college due to caffeine’s propensity to heighten my anxiety. But matcha doesn’t have the same impact on my nervous system. And it’s not a drink that you chug, or at least I have never felt compelled to. To that same end, then, I guess my point is that I’m not really drinking matcha for any measurable purpose, but simply because I enjoy it.
It’s not like matcha is a cure to any of my ills. But it’s the practice of acquiring it and consuming it that gives me some time in my day to appreciate myself, my friends, and the world around me, because it really does force me to slow down.
The other morning, my friend
(who was recently named one of the top 100 culture writers on here!) made me a matcha while I was staying at her apartment. It was a sweet moment in an otherwise busy day where we got to share a drink that she’d put effort into (truly — she made her own strawberry syrup) and discuss the most recent episodes of Yellowjackets and Severance. In that moment, and in those mornings with Karina, I’ve viewed matcha as a means of connection and mutual appreciation. It’s not the glue that binds our relationship, but rather a vehicle in which we can enjoy a few extra hours with one another.And like I said, I’m not always that great at detaching myself from my to-dos and focusing on my mind and body. And that’s where matcha comes in: when left to my own devices and poor matcha preparation skills, a matcha run will also include a 40-60 minute walk. Whether I listen to music or a podcast or my thoughts, this block of walking carves out a section of my day that is automatically allocated to the self.
I have found this to be a meditative process, encouraging me to put more effort into building a life that I find both productive and enjoyable. I think sometimes we forget that we can find joy in anything — jokes with our coworkers, a patch of clovers, a ten-second interaction with the barista. Life is more than the ins and outs, it’s built out by the satisfaction you can seep out of every moment. I think that can sometimes get lost in this constant search for photo opps and resumé builders and other accolades. So if getting a sweet treat re-invigorates that lust for life itself, even if just for a few seconds, I do believe that it’s worth it.
And at the end of the day, a good matcha hits the spot. And a bad one is just a cup of milk, which I figure my body appreciates anyway.
By the way, not that this has anything to do with matcha, but regarding feeling social media pressure: I deleted Instagram again recently (2 or 3 months ago) and have not been missing it. I don’t know if that sentiment resonates with you, but if it does, maybe consider how you can re-evaluate your relationship with platforms such as that one.
Songs for a calm morning:
Farewell, Angelina by Joan Baez
It Ain’t Me, Babe by Joan Baez
April Come She Will by Simon & Garfunkel
Letting Things Go by Vulfmon and Evangeline
What it Takes to Make You Love Me by Art Lown
Drop Cherries by Billie Marten
To Me it Was by Samia
Better Than This by Lizzy McAlpine
Crying in the Chapel by Elvis
Bathroom Light by Mt. Joy
Great content and songs as per usual Koz <3
this was so cute